Time
by codedriver
Summary: based on previews of 'Belly of the Beast'. Kate's final thoughts


Time

Don't own them, wish I did because I want to know where in the hell they are going.

This hasn't been beta read, again if you are someone who like to beta read and help writers let me know.

Summary: based on previews of 'Belly of the Beast'. Kate's final thoughts

Time doesn't really exist anymore except for the fact that she has nothing but time to think. To think of what a mistake it was to not listen to Gates when she offered her an out. Was that this morning or yesterday, whenever she can't tell, it has been awhile since she has seen outside.

Time that is broken up between being moved around and tortured, between being awake and unconscious, between praying for her team to find her and praying to die so this all will end.

For now she lies alone on the unforgiving concrete floor, soaking wet after the torturous hours of her captors trying to get information out of her and as cold as the blackness of room she was tossed into. The numbness from it all is welcoming and the thought that she will soon be dead doesn't feel as bad as it did earlier.

But this lack of doing anything while awake leaves her time to think.

Her thoughts go to her dad and Castle and what they must be going through and how will they cope with this. She figures if they are lucky they will get her body to bury, if not then she assumes that Rick will at least have a casket for her empty bitter grave. The formal police burial with all the pomp and circumstance that makes her shudders as she remember the last time she attended a police funeral. She should have died then but as Castle points out, fate has a plan for them.

A short plan it would seem as time slips away.

She wonders if Rick, Ryan and Espo are looking for her? Did Narcotics allow it or did Gates finally have to pull some rank and put them on the case? The sudden need to thank Gates for all she has done and let her know that she does respect her like she did Roy. If she makes it out of here she will make sure that Gates knows.

She knows that Rick is sick with worry and that when he becomes desperate he can become dangerous. There is a dark side of the man that not many have seen and how she fears that side of him, what he will do for love scares her, especially now with what he may do to find her. She just hopes that her death doesn't consume him like her mother's used to consume her.

Sadly she knows that it will. He will not stop till she is avenged and then all that will be left is empty version of the man she fell in love with. His child like antics combined with his adult passions is what finally caused her to cave in. Not to say that there aren't times now that he doesn't drive her crazy but it's his never ending faith and love for her that she can't resist.

Her death will also drive more than Castle for vengeance; it will drive Espo and Ryan too. They won't work on it all the time but she knows that they will help Castle, when he allows it, and all three men won't let the killers walk free. The guys will feel like they failed her if they don't find her alive. It would crush Javi as the man had followed her blindly too many times before and harden Ryan in ways she couldn't imagine.

She blinks, did she fall asleep, she can't tell but now her thoughts turn to her father. How will he handle this? Will he turn back to the bottle? She can't think of how her death with destroy him. The tracks of her tears warm her cheeks as she imagines the last straw breaking Jim Beckett. She knows that Rick long with Martha, who has surprisingly become a friend with him, will be there but neither Rodgers has experienced the loss like the Beckett's. Smiling at the memory of that disastrous first meal with both families collided to show how far apart their realities were, a meeting where she thought the gap between worlds of her and Rick's would finish them off. Instead they all became stronger.

She knows that no matter what Rick will take care of him.

She decides to think about the future, what does she want from it if she happens to make it out? She wants to marry Rick and not in May. She will take Martha's suggestion and gather everyone up as soon as they can get a date with City Hall. Screw all of the planning and issues of deciding on what. She wants to be Katherine Castle and she wants kids. As much as she knew Rick would love her if they never did have children, he hadn't really hidden the fact that he did indeed want more. And he wanted them with her. He was a great father and she knew that any child of theirs would always have the best. Spoiled rotten but respectful, smart but not nerdy and good looking as any combination of their DNA would produce a good looking baby.

Her becoming a mother, something that would shock nearly everyone she knew except maybe Maddie.

Of course there would be one person celebrating this, Bracken. He would be happy to have her out of the way, problem solved and no blood on his hands. Bracken just didn't know that Rick wouldn't let the issue go, he would avenge her mother too. In her honor, for her dad and Espo would be right beside him in their decent into hell if they didn't save her.

She needs Castle to shake her out of this gloomy thought pattern and his crazy theories of how to get out of the situation. She needs him to save her but the longer she is here in the dark slowly freezing to death, the lower her chances are.

Noise shakes her back to the world around her and her present fate.

The door opens blinding her as two guys enter; they each take a side, grab an arm and yank her up off the floor. Dragging her into the hallway her eyes finally adjust to the rapid change location and she could see that she was being drug into a large room. Her captor sitting down with disgruntled smile on his face. She knew that was because she hadn't cracked and he was pissed. And that was bad.

The thugs left her on her knees struggling to get her bearings, and come to grips with the final few minutes of her life as a gun was placed at the base of her skull.

She gave one last speech of bravado saying that her people would hunt them down and avenge her.

The laughter from the group did little to modify the facts she knew about the men in her life and their dedication to her. Painfully she made herself as tall as she could. She wanted them to know that she wasn't afraid and that she would die with dignity, not begging for her life.

In her last few seconds she sends out thoughts of love to Rick, a I'm sorry that we didn't get to see how far the dance would have gone, for the children they would never have and finally a good bye as she heard the shot go off and the instant of crushing pain the back of head that lead to blissful darkness to nothing.

Reviews welcome but not required. if you see something that needs to be fixed please PM so I can fix and repost


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